Unknown
by cloverhand
Summary: Taryn reflects on Jean Grey and how much she really knew Jean in the wake of mutant's exposure. Not Jean-bashing. Mentions of Jean/Scott. Post-Day of Reckoning.


I wrote this nearly a year ago, and sent it off to my fantastic beta, Mimsy Momerath, who promptly edited it and returned it, just in time for me to break my laptop. I got it back, over 9 months later, in full health, and promptly forgot to upload this. I'm no longer part of the XME fandom, so it didn't occur to me to post this for quite some time, but now I have. This is my goodbye to X-Men: Evolution fanfiction, so I hope it's enjoyed by all. Please R&R!

Dedicated to Mimsy Momerath, who was an awesome beta, and deserved to see quicker payoff for her hard work than she did with this fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this not-for-profit piece. I don't own these characters or the X-Men. It's all make believe. Please don't sue.

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><p>Jean Grey. We used to be friends, back when we were in high school. At least I thought we were friends. It's really hard to tell where you stand with someone like Jean. She seemed nice enough, and she was, it was just always so difficult to get to know her. I suppose a lot of people thought they were friends with her, but it wasn't too hard to get along with her. The trick was getting her to open up to you. Jean was secretive. Now it makes sense, why she didn't trust easily. She had one hell of a secret to keep. But before her big secret was out, Jean kept a lot of other little secrets. Maybe it was just habit. Maybe she was afraid she would let too much slip. Whatever it was, all I know is that it seemed like I barely knew my own best friend.<p>

How could you describe her? She was one of those people. You know, one of those people that everyone wants to be. She had it all: she was valedictorian, captain of the soccer team, dating the quarterback, and had tons of friends. She had friends everywhere, but especially at the Institute. Which made sense, even then, as everyone there seemed to be hiding something too, whether it was what they were actually thinking or feeling, their past, their real name, or even their eye color. But even outside the Institute, Jean had to be the most popular girl in school. Nobody else ever realized how much she was really hiding. In fact, it seems like the only people she wasn't friends with were Alvers and his thugs, which makes sense in hindsight. After all, they say hindsight's 20/20. It couldn't be truer.

Jean was always a little distant. Even though she had friends, best-friends, and boyfriends all throughout high school, she was always one step removed from the rest of us, one step ahead, really. She almost seemed superhuman at times. She was always strong, fearless, flawless. The only time I ever saw her vulnerable was when she had a near breakdown giving her MVP speech, but she shook that off pretty quickly. But except for that, I never saw her cry, never saw her furious, never saw her out of control. I don't think anyone ever did, except for those other Institute kids.

They were close, all of them. Like, if I was talking to Jean or Scott and one of the other Xavier's kids came up to us, it was like I wasn't even there anymore. It didn't matter who it was: they show up, I'm out of the picture. They would always lower their voices and look around, as if to make sure no one was listening in. It was almost like they were all hiding one giant secret. It didn't really make much sense, but then again, not much about Jean did.

Jean liked Scott, anyone could see it. Why she stayed with Duncan as long as she did is a mystery. She always got really frustrated and jealous when he talked to other girls, so I started flirting with him whenever she was around. It's not so much that I wanted to hurt her as much as I wanted to see what she was really like. I'd seen how happy she really was with the other Institute kids; it was nothing like how she acted around her school friends, or even how she acted around me. I guess I just wanted to see what Jean was really like, under the mask she put on for us. She was surprisingly human, but at the same time, she was still completely controlled, like if she let how she really felt show, she'd lose her grip on everything. Maybe she would've, I don't know, but all I do know is that I don't know anything about the real Jean Grey.

It was Senior year when everything changed. Suddenly Jean was an outcast, hated and feared. I was absolutely shocked. I had always thought that Jean was hiding something, but I never would have guessed this. My paranoid speculations about Jean being different were true, and I could barely believe it, though it did make a weird kind of sense. She had always been a little distant, because at the end of the day, she was never one of us. She was one of _them_.

It was a bit of relief, in some ways. Sure, everything was really stressful for a while, but I finally felt like I knew what was going on. Jean had been hiding something, all along, and now, it was no wonder that she always needed to be totally and completely in control of herself. She could read minds and make things move, just by thinking about it. It was absolutely terrifying, but at the same time, absolutely fascinating. And she wasn't the only one. All of Xavier's students, and Xavier himself, were like her. Different. It was more than a little hard to believe. These people had been living among us and no one had noticed a thing. Remarkable, really, considering that some of these mutants could fly, or shapeshift, or even walk through walls. Finally, after so long, all the secrets hiding behind the Institute walls had been exposed, and everything had finally started to make sense, in the most twisted, warped way possible, and yet, I couldn't help but wish that things hadn't changed.

But things did change, and there's no way it'll be forgotten any time soon. Mutants are all anyone ever talks about anymore. People are still terrified of them, even though it's been years. Sure they can do all sorts of weird stuff, but they're no more dangerous than some terrorist with a bomb, or a psycho with a machine gun. It's kinda stupid, in all honesty. The mutants are the same as they were before they got exposed. It's the rest of us who are different.

I haven't seen Jean since graduation. Anti-mutant hysteria's been getting worse, so it's rare to see any of Bayville's own mutants anymore. For a while, I heard stories of the younger Xavier kids from my younger brother, since most of them were upperclassman to his freshman, until Mom and Dad moved him to private school to protect him from the "mutant menace" or something like that. But now, all I know about them is what I hear on the nightly news, which isn't exactly unbiased, or from bigots screaming abuse on street corners. Maybe it's better this way. If Jean had really wanted me to know she was a mutant, she would have told me. Maybe she was just too good for normal humans like me. Or maybe, despite all the X-Mens' big talk about equality, she never realized that normal humans weren't too good for her.

So now, even though all her secrets are out in the open, it looks like I'll still never really know Jean Grey. I think I would've liked to, but now, I doubt that anyone outside of Xavier's big, metal gates will ever really get the chance to know her. Maybe she likes it better that way, and I hope, for her sake, that she does. I'll never know, but I guess there's a lot of things I never will.

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><p>AN: Jean always gets so much crap, and it's really not fair. Also, I always thought the human/mutant dynamics were one of the most interesting parts of X-Men as a franchise, and wanted to take a fresh look at it. I hope it worked out.


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